One of those days... i am sorry
What can I say? I finally got to sleep at about five o'clock this morning. Im not sure, I just couldn't be bothered sleeping at all. I was rudely woken by the phone alarm going off, it makes such a hideous sound, doesn't it! Having been so cold last night, sitting drinking tea in bed shivering, it was a wonderful feeling to wake up and be at a comfortable temperature. Enveloping myself in my sheets and duvet again, the alarm went off for second time, so I just put a stop to that, 'SNOOZE OFF'. But then I had a fear that I would fall back into a deep sleep so I tried to keep myself semi-consious by fretting. But that failed!
Just one of those days, where you were in bed late, and just should not have bothered getting out of that comfy spot all day. Once you get up, world war three starts and there is world famine and drought, not to mention the world economy crashes. Well, it was one of those days.
I don't know, I knew something would go wrong. I just bloody knew. Having had a comfortable ride into town and all that, things are going well. But something is looming, for having got up late, there must be something. My mum texts me saying that she is going to visit Nana in hospital and will finally be home this evening. By now its two in the day and I have to get a present for fathers day and just do things... there isn't enough time! Rushing back to get some food before departing town... I stupidly am talking to Owen about something which ALWAYS makes me angry.
I don't know weather it was to just put myself in the humour to hide the upset. It just got to me so much, and then there is that moment where you see red, and nothing matters anymore. You care so deeply, and can't see straight. In that time I was late coming home to greet my mum, I felt so bad.
It rained on us, sitting waiting for the 46a.. lashing rain 'perfect end to a shit day', but then the saving grace, with his ability to just overcome my anger with him, offers me a taxi to get home to see my mum. I dont know how to feel, apart from wet and cold from the rain pouring from the sky. But the emotional state is, anger, with many elements, wearyness, sadness mixed with a feeling of love. I can't seem to pick on o'er the other.
Still I am home, I have spoken to my mum, who seems quite upbeat and happy to be in her own home again. She is more calm than I was expecting and a lot less emotional, which is fantastic, on a selfish level, crying parents are something I can't deal with. But anyway, I am so glad that she is happier now. Phew!
Then there was that incident in town, for which I am sorry. I don't know when to drop things, I know this. I do, really. But I get a feeling that I am asserting myself if I don't let things slide, it is just a reaction. I am not to sure what to do now. But, you do what you want to do, like I said.
In short, I knew this day would have to have the unhappy element, I am sorry that it happened to be with you. I am sorry.
--Hopefully I will do this... to sleep
Just one of those days, where you were in bed late, and just should not have bothered getting out of that comfy spot all day. Once you get up, world war three starts and there is world famine and drought, not to mention the world economy crashes. Well, it was one of those days.
I don't know, I knew something would go wrong. I just bloody knew. Having had a comfortable ride into town and all that, things are going well. But something is looming, for having got up late, there must be something. My mum texts me saying that she is going to visit Nana in hospital and will finally be home this evening. By now its two in the day and I have to get a present for fathers day and just do things... there isn't enough time! Rushing back to get some food before departing town... I stupidly am talking to Owen about something which ALWAYS makes me angry.
I don't know weather it was to just put myself in the humour to hide the upset. It just got to me so much, and then there is that moment where you see red, and nothing matters anymore. You care so deeply, and can't see straight. In that time I was late coming home to greet my mum, I felt so bad.
It rained on us, sitting waiting for the 46a.. lashing rain 'perfect end to a shit day', but then the saving grace, with his ability to just overcome my anger with him, offers me a taxi to get home to see my mum. I dont know how to feel, apart from wet and cold from the rain pouring from the sky. But the emotional state is, anger, with many elements, wearyness, sadness mixed with a feeling of love. I can't seem to pick on o'er the other.
Still I am home, I have spoken to my mum, who seems quite upbeat and happy to be in her own home again. She is more calm than I was expecting and a lot less emotional, which is fantastic, on a selfish level, crying parents are something I can't deal with. But anyway, I am so glad that she is happier now. Phew!
Then there was that incident in town, for which I am sorry. I don't know when to drop things, I know this. I do, really. But I get a feeling that I am asserting myself if I don't let things slide, it is just a reaction. I am not to sure what to do now. But, you do what you want to do, like I said.
In short, I knew this day would have to have the unhappy element, I am sorry that it happened to be with you. I am sorry.
--Hopefully I will do this... to sleep
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